Most people would probably delete it. But being me, I decided to reply.
The email had already been blocked by our mail system and flagged as a possible phishing attempt. The same message had also been sent to several staff members, making it clear this was not a personal introduction.
That email became the starting point for a special Ask A Tech investigation into romance scams.
Before replying, I created a completely fictional online persona. I did not use my real name, details or photographs, and the investigation was conducted in a safe and controlled environment.
For this story, the scammer will be known as Elin, a 32-year-old woman claiming to live in London. My fictional persona will be Jack, a single 50-year-old tradie who was not confident with computers.
Over several months, I became part of the scam, engaging from the first message through the trust-building and relationship stages, right up to the emotional pressure and request for money. I eventually ended the friendship without revealing Jack was fictional or blowing the cover of the investigation account.
Stage 1: Getting to know you
The first few months were surprisingly ordinary.
Jack and Elin exchanged small talk and gradually shared details about their lives. Elin claimed she worked in aged care, trained staff, cared for patients and loved cooking. Jack said he earned extra money helping a mate on a farm.
Their friendship slowly became something more. Elin talked about travelling to Australia, wished Jack was with her and described what their future together might look like.
But it was all part of a script.
Once I understood how the script worked, I deliberately went off track to see how Elin would respond.
At one point, Jack stopped replying for nearly two weeks. I later explained that he had been seriously ill and spent time in hospital.
Someone who genuinely cared would likely show concern.
Instead, Elin ignored it and returned to talking about their future together.
That was one of the clearest signs that Jack’s wellbeing did not matter. The only thing that mattered was keeping the story moving.
Stage 2: Emotional dependence
Things soon became emotionally intense. Jack and Elin began calling each other “my love” and “darling”. Elin sent several photographs of a woman matching her description and even what she claimed was a photograph of her passport.
Then the story about her mother changed.
Her mother had originally been described as elderly. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Elin said she had cancer and treatment was costing between $3000 and $5000 each week.
Elin named the medication, so I researched it. The drug appeared to be covered by the public health system in the country where her mother supposedly lived, much like Australia’s Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.
Despite this, Elin continued describing the financial pressure she was under.
I then hinted Jack might receive back pay for work on the farm, making it appear he may soon have money available.
But I introduced another problem: the head gasket on Jack’s ute had blown, and the money was needed for repairs.
Elin said she understood, but quickly added that she was still struggling.
The pattern was clear. The emotional connection had been built, the crisis introduced, and Jack was being positioned as the person who could rescue her.
This brings us to the end of Part 1.
In Part 2, the pressure escalates further, including a fake company, project documents, promises of repayment and instructions about obtaining a bank loan without telling the bank what the money was really for.
Excerpts from the emails are featured in the Ask A Tech podcast using AI voice actors. You can listen free on the MMG app or Spotify.
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